Silent Tears

Last Night Before I went to Bed

Thoughts of Mother filled my head

Though I have not cried this may in many years

Onto my pillow fell six silent tears

The first was for her tender hearted love that I miss

And her caring for shown me in years

The Second was for her bosom milk and closeness

that I enjoyed In laugher and tears

The third came as no surprise

As I thought of her tears for my pain

The fourth came rolling,

For the warmth love they cuddle up side by side

Telling the bed time stories and talking of that day

And enjoy the peaceful of a full moon

The fifth came for one reason alone

I felt a son’s love for a mother that wasn’t fully shown

I really love and miss you mother

And there just fell the sixth silent tear

The Desert Wind

The Desert wind, wounding to the bone,,

Gently lifts the solitary of the desert

Sends its spiraling downwards to the road,

it joints all the other fallen sand

Lying there withering, dying, was one in air,

but now dull, brown as death claims slowly,

The blowing wind lifts his hair,

Sending a sigh from his neck to toes….

He sits on rock and look into the bleak horizon,

In its lackluster colors of sadness...

He bow his head, cupping his face with palms

Dried fingers biting into his cheeks

his thoughts, his mind turmoil,

his heart completely broken, shattered beyond repair,

He feel the warm tears on his fingers,

For its soothing, its comforting to finally cry..

His sobbing goes unheard,

all along in his own private hell,

Trying to feel himself free...

He is paying for the things he never done,

So when are going to stop breaking his heart..

OUTSIDER

Was he an outsider
Nobody knows him –
Each day that comes
He is alone
Never knowing that
Tomorrow will bring standing here

The love he may fairly be
excise from everybody -
seems was he a burden or a pest ?
He who loves called him
an outsider

He just dying thinking of the Sunset
And take his mind
And its pain
And embrace in its hand

What shall he do ??
What shall he say ??
Left him with no helping hand
To take the days go away

Although were over gone our ways
He can’t help him but feel like this
And wach day that comes
He feel is alone
Stranded in an alienated world of injustice

Eyes explored for love -
His tears wet the heart of earth
The earth asked him - Why ?
The wind asked him - Why ?
The sun asked him - Why ?
He murmured –  an outsider - an outsider

He love everything that love likes -
He hate every thing that love hates -
But still he was an outsider –
An Unknown- Unknown- Unknown Outsider

OUTSIDER

A Bidding Day

Shaking day, brainy day

Grinding day, punching day

Rowing day, dismal day

Thirsty day, and hungry day,

Passage day, costing day

Lining day, Pricing day

Shouting day, counting day

Eager day, hammering day

Probing, tracing,

Calling, shouting,

Brew then as panic

Loom then as pant

We then as lambs

You then as lion

We then as asses

You then as fox

And all at last fried

And Dumping, throwing,

And are we saying submitting

With a dump look,

Standing in burial box,

a sigh of relief break of silence

Nor we slay any head

Nor we did any sin

Though do we also

Get a day of grimace

Silence - In memory of A. Ayyappan

And at the end now

All he has to offer
is solitude and silence.
No accomplishments to speak of,
having never finished anything

Worth finishing
except bad relationships
and good friendships
he now regret not keeping.

Those he feel closest to
are the farthest away from him
while he keep himself distant
from those who are near.

that a deep sleep in forefront

Without any disturbances

Let him sleep well and forget everything

Not yet time for good bye forever

But it is the time for him to say

bye bye then now…….

He slept in the alembic case

And eyes widely open

To see the elegant world

Again and again – but

At the end now

Is solitude silence

Without any disturbance

Let me lay down

And say friends good bye

                                       Azad

BLOOD AND TEAR

After a long time I was on my village

Years of silence burst out at once

The same place where I grow in sun and shower

where the first rain drops touched my feet

where the grass field I played

and after along time I was on my village

I stepped out from shell of memories

In few seconds I was all wet

Rain drops kissed my face

Starts melting heart & mind

And the unfaithful tears they fall

Like rivers streaming hot through the muggy mist

And I cried alone in that rain

Confusion feeds like a savage inside,
Leaving nothing considered worthy remains
Destined to walk through life less ordinary
Alone, exiled, different and disdain

My heart moves from fire to cold

look like a helpless chick in the rain

And I cried alone in that rain

As it started raining more heavily

The sound of thunder grooved

I could feel loneliness, wandering here and there

Looking for all that my pain can recognize

I couldn’t, my tears were all lost in the rain

I could feel burning on my cheeks,

When the cold rain drops feel on it,

Who knows what I look for

Still not see the kids who needs me, my babies

Now they lies in their tombs

Where on their tombs , the devils playing

And singing no worries of tomorrow

And there I cried alone in that rain

Are they far away from me but I can’t forget

Oh, I can’t go back and live in the past

Just as I enjoy the peacefulness of a full moon

With warmth and love, but where I lost my life

In the dances of sword and guns

Or in the horrors we saw, and

Or in the nightmare of flames and destruction

Too may tears turn into blood

When my aching soul is about to flee

The sadness and loneliness it is a witness too

And there I cried alone in that rain

TO ALL THE VICTIMS OF GUJARAT COMMUNAL RIOT

THE FRANTIC WORLD

Heinous Old Serpent 

spew out the world

we look at the map of  world

for a matter of that is not concern of mine

and I shall be asked,

why should I follow your fighting line

why should you drag us into war ?

Mortifying  it was and it is,

the nakedness of war, savagery of swords,

brutality of guns we experienced in the past,

the nightmare in our memory pushes us into panic

                The sanguinary of the bloody wars

                Tears of Bosnian widows,

                Corpses in Palestinian Soil,

                The Bloodbath in Algeria

                Blood spread soil of Kosovo,

                Blood-spattered mud in Kabul

Carcasses of Hiroshima and Nagasaki,

Dying kids in Iraq

All at last Earth says the chronicle end in dark

We look at the dying earth and says,

the wonderful calmness we like,

cement of confidence we like

Not marching against liberty

                But, are on foot behind liberty

We wish to avoid unlit sky

                We wish to avoid the earth to moan

We wish to avoid the sky shedding black tears

                We like the glittering sun and smiling moon

                We like the stars shining brightly in the sky

                We like the wind breathing slowly

We like gleeful earth and sky

                And we love hearts that makes earth happy           1/2

But, The heinous Old Serpent 

shoot out the world with weapons

                I shall be asked,

                looking at the map of world,

                Why should I follow your fighting line?

                Why should you drag me into war?

               

                                                -       AZAD

The Dreamy Night and Misty dawn

Thousands of eyes keep

Observing obey at dawn

Break light of obedience

Obeying all the day

A bed where seeds born

And grow so tall

To stand and look-upon

The elegant world

What is this light source

Startling the seeds within

To awaken me ?

I can see my dreams very clear

To the tiny stars I cry

The stars in the air

They glow like in your eyes

And I shoot them with bombs.

Touching a heart through

Soft waves of chimera lights

Enchanting night thoughts

Solar in clouds

In Northern skies a glowing

Streams of colored

Wisp of moss green mist

Spiral dark silhouette trees

Exude mystic light

The black and white memories

Running through the mist

So was I Cannot see the day break

The new dawn awaits

Awaits beside me once more

With the night dreams

Leaving me with an yelp cry.

                                           

HE IS ALONE

Each day that comes

he is alone

Never knowing that

Tomorrow will bring standing here

Just dying thinking of the sunset

And take my mind

And its pain

And embrace in its dark hand

What shall he do ??

What shall he  say ??

Left me with no helping hand

To make the days just go away

Although were over gone our ways

I can’t help him but feel like this

And each day that comes

he feel he is alone

he is stranded in an alienated world of injustice.

That Slave is Still Singing

We bow to our master
that he ask us to do every dawn
we kneeled in fron of him
as he wants us to do everyday
we bore beating on us
that he likes to beat us everyday
for his cocunut field he our sweat
for his sexual appetites
we pour the tears of our daughters
never we did any sin
never did slay any head
although do we get a day
a day wih grimace
a day with a grin
a day with an heart touch smile
with glittering sun
                      

21 CENTURY

Tears of love at a leisurely pace

day and night dribs from my eyes

                   Grin of sorrow make full my lips

          On every nightfall and daybreak

                  

Unnatural happenings of yesterday

          Makes my pacific mind a roaring beast

Anticipation of Today makes me impatient

          I told my heart, to beat loud and loud

Confusion feeds like a savage inside,

          Never knowing that tomorrow will bring standing here

Leaving nothing considered worthy remains
Destined to walk through life less ordinary
Alone, exiled, different and disdain

The love of world gaunt into the flood of tears

Greenish shoots blazing on draught of war

Burning stomachs lying in the streets

          A mild joy and sorrow of my tears

          Makes my heart and mind fill with woe

          I told my tears to laugh and laugh

         

Hear draught of war from every corner

         I remember story of an idiot mouse 

         Like an idiot mouse excitement filled me with fear

         Nothing happened more than nothing happened

         Realizing becoming a mouse with an idiot look       

          I chuckled looking at idiot world  - Idiots all

                                                                     -AZAD

DESERT WIND

The Desert wind, wounding to the bone,,

Gently lifts the solitary of the desert

Sends its spiraling downwards to the road,

it joints all the other fallen sand

Lying there withering, dying, was one in air,

but now dull, brown as death claims slowly,

The blowing wind lifts his hair,

Sending a sigh from his neck to toes….

He sits on rock and look into the bleak horizon,

In its lackluster colors of sadness...

He bows his head, cupping his face with palms

Dried fingers biting into his cheeks

his thoughts, his mind turmoil,

his heart completely broken, shattered beyond repair,

He feels the warm tears on his fingers,

For its soothing, its comforting to finally cry..

His sobbing goes unheard,

all along in his own private hell,

Trying to feel himself free...

He is paying for the things he never done,

So when are going to stop breaking his heart..

I AM

I have two faces:
one looking forward with hope,
the other, behind, with regret.
Naturally, I am often trapped in the present,
and neither fore nor aft looks
particularly appealing.

Likewise, my colors are somewhat blessed with contrast.
The lighter tones are merely a paler gray
fluted with silver, over which shadows
of black and scarlet swirl tumultuously.
I carry both palettes tirelessly, knowing
I am blank, undefined, without them.

But who would treasure the portrait as a
whole? Fading skin and deadly eyes-

each necessary to enhance the other.
I can only wait and hope not to fade
overmuch with the passing of time.

                                                   

Lamppost still Still Shining...for Whom ??????

Under the lamppost
he sits cold and hungry
his empty stomach says
More, more, more and more
People with top hats passed him
Lonely under lamppost
He sits cold, hungry

Yellow light shimmering
Greens hide in dark
Rising mist of time
Cement of shadows dances around
Lonely under lamppost
He sits cold and hungry

Gathering dark clouds
Valiant birds flies to nest
Till the rain and storm start
hung his head over
hearing the wind blow
Here he sore not of the sky
Lookout of something
Lonely under lamppost
He sits cold and hungry

Soaring high above
Like bird of prey
Yelp scream with no break
Taking his heart with an itch
Leaves a drop of blood
With itching heart and thorny mind
Lonely under lamppost
He sits cold and hungry
                           Azad

Everywhere her Screaming ????????????

Society is something of a catch-all phrase for organized humanity. It's just another word for people. And just as there can be evil in people, there can also be evil in society. And evil, in any of its myriad guises, can only bring us pain and sadness. This poem is in memory of 9 year girl child who was brutally raped and killed recently in a remote village in Kerala India. Her, innocent, feared face, screaming, haunting me day and night……and she is still crying with tiny stars and smirking moon……


Everywhere her screaming
There is pain in my heart for her.
I cannot soothe her,
I cannot be with her,
I want to share her pain
ease her suffering,
show her I care,
But she flew away
catching the tiny star
And everywhere her screaming

Why must it be so hard?
Why should it happen with?
The unanswerable questions
ring out to the stars,
and only silence replies
with it's smooth sound.
But she flew away
Catching the tiny stars
And everywhere her screaming

I scream with anguish,
and the pain of helplessness.
"There must be something
I can do, mustn’t there?"
But she flew away
Catching the tiny stars
And everywhere her screaming

Her whimpered query
hangs in the air,
"please, please, please.. no ?".
and only silence replies
with it's smooth sound.
But she flew awa
Catching the tiny stars
And everywhere her screaming

Only silence and time remain,
one a comforter, the other, a healer.
So why am I not comforted,
or healed of my pain,
and only her misery remains?
and only silence replies
with it's smooth sound.
But she flew away
Catching the tiny stars
And everywhere her screaming

I am in mute, feelings flows,
Tears flooded, heart leap up
Throat dried up, no sounding elegy
A last I fade and die,
And fly away with her to the other end,
To wipe out tears showing her tiny stars, and smirking moon,
and I scream again become
Soundless elegy on faded bud and only silence replies
with it's smooth sound.
But she flew away
Catching the tiny stars
And everywhere her screaming

-Azad Tirur





myriad guise – countless appearance

An IDIOT Mouse in An IDIOT World

I shall be telling this with a cry

Of seeing angriness glued to the glimmering in each eyes
Somewhere 16 years hither and hence
Estimating my financial growth in the Kingdom
I chose to tell the lie & truth on my work place

I have filled in my last letter to boss
I've phone 'till my line caught fire
And I turned my wheel of memory
To the past risks of Ethic policy,

I remember every body Sighed,
Yearning for quill pens and papers
when the customer is in front
and computers had never been thought of
whereas now they rule alone.

Only a host of broken promises
That haunted then in-trays then
Took note, as they lay, of the last chance
To arrange the affairs of customers

'Is there anybody there?' said the customer
banging on the office front door
But no-one there descended to the customer
No head to raise from the keyboard,
Took heed of the phone, or the door knock
By computers all were fazed.
And a phone started up in the office
above the client's head
And he knock upon the door again, a second time
'Is there anybody there?' he said.

The poor client looking at the moving time, morning to the noon
Reading the big letters written in banner,
Integrity and ethical tone of employees
Staring & Mocking at the empty chairs
And thinking of the office timing
The poor client sensed impotence of work place
though his heart sank in unhappy,
And wandered, down the empty hall and disappeared
Like an idiot mouse in an idiot world,
I also chuckled with an idiot look
Stared at the idiot computer
Thinking of the banners of Integrity & Ethical tone
Yearned again for quill pen and paper

MY HOUSE IS DARK

My house is dark
My house is dark.
I like it that way.
Through unshaded windows
I look across the street.
People there have lights on.
I see them through windows.
A muscular young man
Cutting the hair of a child
My apartment is dark

Some top hats eating
in nearby restaurant,
A woman drinks water
Nearby super market,
On the top floor
Some are dancing in
In the blue light of TV.
A mom, a daughter:
Chatting with next door women
three without men.
At the bottom floor an old couple
Smothers with fear
Of who will die first.
My house is dark

Too many times
I have said the same things.
I watch here in darkness,
In the peace of aloneness,
And think about me,
And think about the world
Beneath my sad disguise.
While I am near mad
Wish this poem were pixie dust
To throw into the street
My house is dark

                             Azad

SILENT TEARS

My Soul, yesterday, deserted me,
It flow away to the other end
I pursue to come back
But, I faint, I dim, I fail to find

And at last I astonish seeing my soul
Sobbing near remains of Girl ,
My heart beat up, realizing holes of gun barrel
shaping her empty stomach filled with fire
her eyes widely opened stone-still
seems how she ardor the elegance world
not with knowing its barbarity
with widely opened Jaws
with starving eyes, and stomach

I look at the sky- it was dark
I look at the sun – it was black
I look at the rainbow – it was colorless
I look at the grass field – It was dried-up
I look at the sea,- It was parched

Sobbing near her, my soul cast-off to come to me
I stood near stagnant body of lass
I knocked the Earth with fury
I raised my fist with anguish –
eyes distressed filled with tears-
At last, my heart leaned on,

Murmuring– My soul, my body, my mind
‘Weaken heart, Murmuring mind
Painful nights, Tearful days’
You confer me all
And lay under the sun and shower
Run behind ripping clouds, deep of calm sea’
Grin with glittering stars
Stepping with gentle breeze

Tears drips, feelings flows,
And soul flies, and not finds a way
to clinch my mind,
your smile never dies
innocent eyes never close,

breath never end
Rising every time
when the wind breathe
When the flowers gathered die,
When the misty drops wets the sandy mud
My child, Your cause is the hope of the world,
In your fight is the life of the race
should build, in years passed by,

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Azad

DESERT RAIN

I feel so close to you
that it is hard to tell
where your heart ends
and where mine begins.

And you are like desert rain

It is like we are one,
Body, spirit and mind;
meant for each other
two of a kind.
and your are like desert rain

Like rain upon the desert,
On a dry and barren land;
You cause my soul to blossom,
With touch from gentle hands.

and you are like desert rain

And like the breeze of springtime,
Gently 'cross my body blows;
Igniting there a flame of fire,
That sets my heart aglow.

and you are like desert rain

You fill me up when I am empty

Like no one else has done;

Pour warmth into my spirit

Like rays from summer sun

and you are like desert rain

I love you so much

You love me too;

Together forever

Me and you

And you are like desert rain

Azad Tirur

Everywhere her Screaming ????????????

Society is something of a catch-all phrase for organized humanity. It's just another word for people. And just as there can be evil in people, there can also be evil in society. And evil, in any of its myriad guises, can only bring us pain and sadness. I wrote in memory of 9 year girl child who was brutally raped and killed recently in a remote village in Kerala India. Her, innocent, feared face, screaming, haunting me day and night…………what I do……….I cried alone…..and she is still crying with tiny stars and smirking moon……

There is pain in my heart for another.
I cannot comfort her,
I cannot be with her,
I want to share her pain,
ease her suffering,
show her I care,

She flew away but,
Why must it be so hard?
Why should it happen to start with?
The unanswerable questions
ring out to the stars,
and only silence replies
with it's smooth sound.
I scream with anguish,
and the pain of helplessness.
"There must be something

I can do, mustn’t there?"
her whimpered query
hangs in the air,
"please, please, please.. no ?".
and only silence replies

with it's smooth sound.
But only silence and time remain,
one a comforter,
the other, a healer.
So why am I not comforted,
or healed of my pain,
and only misery remains?

and only silence replies
with it's smooth sound.

I am in mute, feelings flows,

Tears flooded, heart leap up

Throat dried up, no sounding elegy

At last I fade and die,

And fly away other end,

to wipe out tears showing her tiny stars, and smirking moon,

and I scream again become

soundless elegy on faded bud and only silence replies
with it's smooth sound. -Azad

Dream and Truth

As you can imagine,

I see her in dreams

Last night, this morning,

Forever it seems

Her hair blowing softly,

In the slightest of gentle breeze

Her smile upturned,

I know she is a tease

Her eyes seem to sparkle,

Have a depth that is so deep

I know should I dwell,

Then my soul she would keep,

Her face is to me, as perfect can be,

Though she may not think so,

This all I can see…,

And her voice such a sweetness,

Only angels can have,

Does she realizes this power,

She will have all my life,

She is a vision in beauty,

A sight for my eyes,

She is all that I have dream of,

That I have wished

She is the one that I would love,

This vision I need

Someday sometime,

On this shall I dream?

Forever, ever… and ever………..

What I do with this idiot dream

Nothing, that I would do

open heart, mind and eyes

Look around the magic world

Screaming Iraq, Scrawling guns,

Weeping moms, the withered scarf’s

Hungry Kabul, Roaring guns,

Floating corpses, sobbing eyes,

The truth behind darkness,

Tears shed on crystal mind,

Broken into pieces,

It wets the golden sand

I lay without mind,

Cannot close my mind again

to see my angelic dream…

Never my dreams comes on to my eyes

Still tears fell on crystal mind...

Differ by dream and truth

Azad

THE FRANTIC WORLD & OLD SERPENT

Heinous Old Serpent

spew out the world

we look at the map of world

for a matter of that is not concern of mine

and I shall be asked,

why should I follow your fighting line

why should you drag us into war ?

Mortifying it was and it is,

the nakedness of war, savagery of swords,

brutality of guns we experienced in the past,

the nightmare in our memory pushes us into panic

The sanguinary of the bloody wars

Tears of Bosnian widows,

Corpses in Palestinian Soil,

The Bloodbath in Algeria

Blood spread soil of Kosovo,

Blood-spattered mud in Kabul

Carcasses of Hiroshima and Nagasaki,

Frying human flesh and Dying kids in Iraq

All at last Earth says the chronicle end in dark

We look at the dying earth and says,

the wonderful calmness we like,

cement of confidence we like

Not marching against liberty

But, are on foot behind liberty

We wish to avoid unlit sky

We wish to avoid the earth to moan

We wish to avoid the sky shedding black tears

We like the glittering sun and smiling moon

We like the stars shining brightly in the sky

We like the wind breathing slowly

We like gleeful earth and sky

And we love hearts that makes earth happy

But, The heinous Old Serpent

shoot out the world with weapons

I shall be asked,

looking at the map of world,

Why should I follow your fighting line?

Why should you drag me into war?

- AZAD